Just so Effing Tired....

[not_hathor]

I've been holding things together for the past six months -- work, the house, family, dog....

I'm in pain and I'm tired of doing EVERYTHING -- packing, unpacking, taking daughter to school, taking daughter to the doctor to try ONE MORE EFFING TIME to find out WHY she gets sick so often, I'm tired of postponing my time off YET AGAIN because other people's concerns are more important than the fact that I'm so burnt out that I'm barely functioning, I'm tired of trying to sell the effing trailer while my husband just sits and bitches about having to pay another month's lot rent --- YES, he broke his hip last December, but why the heck couldn't he pick up the phone and do some of this MONTHS ago????

WHY IS IT MY JOB?????

I'm just so tired of it.

Comments

[boogiebabe-smap.livejournal.com]

{hugs} kiddo. Believe me after the last couple years, I know what it is to be the rock in the turbulence, too. You hold and you hold and you hold because you're convinced that everyone else's needs are important and you HAVE to be strong for them, but you can only do it for so long before something's gotta give. You need to stop before the thing that gives out is your health or your sanity.

You're absolutely right that your husband's injury should not preclude him handling the phone calls and trailer sale; and your daughter is old enough to understand that it's not ALL about her. I know you're not going to want the confrontation that's going to come from them finding out that their emotional slave wants her emancipation, but I think you really need to talk to your daughter and ESPECIALLY your husband about a more equitable distribution of responsibility in the not_hathor household.

Then after you've made your point, retreat to a place where you can relax and recouperate. (I'm inclined toward a long hot bath with nice music, scented candles, a nice drink [in my case non-alcoholic, but your mileage may vary], and a good book.) Just ignore the world for a couple hours. If you can't get that at home, you might want to talk with a local hotel about a mini-retreat. And you can never go wrong with massage therapy.

In the meantime, for a change, be strong for you instead of everyone else. Or if you just want to cry/rant over the phone, just give me a call. (If you don't have my phone #, email me and I'll send it to you.)

[not-hathor.livejournal.com]

*Hugs SMAP back* -- Yeah, I knew you'd understand, Roomie! Although to be fair to the husband, the month after the doctor cleared him to go back to work, the plant went to 10-hour days with the occasional weekend. He HAS been working and bringing home the bacon; and the kid did help considerably with the actual moving. And I certainly didn't help my own cause by downplaying MY injuries -- which is why I've got a Doctor's appointment next week.

I just need to get my THIRD wind, that all....

[boogiebabe-smap.livejournal.com]

I hope that the doctor has good suggestions for reducing your pain. And I'm glad to hear that hubby and offspring HAVE been helping. It's time though to let them know that Mom's fuel tank is hitting E and she needs a little personal time to refuel. Hang in there, there's gotta be a gas station coming up soon. Don't drive past it.