Just so Effing Tired....

[not_hathor]

I've been holding things together for the past six months -- work, the house, family, dog....

I'm in pain and I'm tired of doing EVERYTHING -- packing, unpacking, taking daughter to school, taking daughter to the doctor to try ONE MORE EFFING TIME to find out WHY she gets sick so often, I'm tired of postponing my time off YET AGAIN because other people's concerns are more important than the fact that I'm so burnt out that I'm barely functioning, I'm tired of trying to sell the effing trailer while my husband just sits and bitches about having to pay another month's lot rent --- YES, he broke his hip last December, but why the heck couldn't he pick up the phone and do some of this MONTHS ago????

WHY IS IT MY JOB?????

I'm just so tired of it.

Comments

[dragonwrangler.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[not-hathor.livejournal.com]

Thanks.... it all just overwhelmed me this morning after having to bully my kid out of bed and being 'mean mom' for making her go to school today with a sinus headache --after calling her in sick two days in a row Monday and yesterday for pretty much the same thing! She's missed so much school this year what with one thing or another, I'm really concerned that she might have to go to summer school....and taking her to the doctor is NOT cheap, even with health insurance, not to mention I have to take off work to do so!!!

I am THIS close to telling the school attendance dean to SHOVE it, she's 17 and legally doesn't have to attend any more, and where do we go to sign up for the GED?!? But I really don't want her to be a drop out, MY mom would disown me, yadda yadda yadda....

*HEAD-DESKS*

Anyway, this morning I made appointments for Daughter, Dog and Myself to see our various Physicians over the next week or so.... Bel needs Heartworm test, Daughter needs to see her neurologist & her psychologist, and I need to see MY doctor about what I suspect to be torn shoulder muscles from all those falls I took this past winter....

Still feeling a tad PMSsy, but better....

[dragonwrangler.livejournal.com]

*offers more hugs*

Wish I could offer more-- hope things (and you) get better soon! And understand the NOT cheap, even with health insurance-- went to the doctor's this morning because of my allergies and a tender spot on my lower back, and just dished out $90 on all the medication she prescribed. Just glad I do have insurance!)

GED not a good idea

[reziac.livejournal.com]

Future employers will see that GED and automatically assume "drop-out" no matter what her other credentials are, too. Another reason to stay in school, even if she has to make up time in summer. (Hell, it'll keep her off the streets :)

And you cannot make up what you get from public school with self- or home-schooling. Aside from the vastly higher stress (have you seen my "home schooling is child abuse" lecture?) self/home schooling just flat misses all but a narrow swath of what kids need to learn. And that puts them in the hole for life, even tho they may feel differently at first.

And in modern society, 99% of the time there's nothing wrong with the kid's psyche except that they just flat don't get enough time to Be A Kid (which is when they really learn how to put together their academic knowledge with the way the world actually works). Too many hours scheduled, too much on their plate. Kids nowadays "work" an average 12 hour day; we don't even expect that of adults!!

(hope stupid LJ doesn't provide a random subject when this posts, like it did with the last one!)

[mel0804.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that you are so exhausted.
But believe me, I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I feel the same. My family and me were sick the whole winter, we moved to another city, we had some serious trouble with our business, I have to find someone who can iron our clothes because I simply don't have the time, my son wants to have some time, my husband is complaining about the non existent family life - and I'm swimming somewhere in the middle on the edge of a breakdown I guess...

So, you are not alone - even if this is not really helping...
Take care of you !

[not-hathor.livejournal.com]

Hugs *mel* --

It wouldn't be so bad if I could just get a good night's sleep! Unfortunately, over the winter I think I fell at least once a month, either on ice, or because I tripped while hauling boxes during the move, and apparently I wrenched my left shoulder pretty bad. At first I thought it hurt because I was sleeping on it wrong, but it's gotten worse instead better over the past few weeks; I have an appointment with my doctor next week to try and have something done about it....

hmmm, maybe I should just go see the dentist and get Novacained to the max again.... I slept pretty good THAT night (except for the glowing orange spiders when I woke up!)

Much love!

-Mary

[mel0804.livejournal.com]

I had some serious troubles with my back last summer and the doctor discovered that my left leg is one centimeter shorter than my right one. It's better now because I'm wearing shoe lifts but sometimes it still hurts when I carried my son and when it gets too bad I have valium and one other drug for muscle relaxation...
From time to time it's a real nice feeling but you have to be very careful with that stuff...

I really wish you all the best !!!!

[booklovergirl.livejournal.com]

Oh hon--

I know how you feel. Sometimes you just get so sick and tired of being the rock, the one everyone leans on to get everything done.

Have a good cry, then do something NICE for yourself.

*hugs*
Carol

[not-hathor.livejournal.com]

Yes! that's it exactly....

I told my boss that her other daughter was absolutely NOT allowed to have grandchild #2 next week, especially on Tuesday! Because that was 'Going to the Doctor Day' for me and da kid and I'm taking the ENTIRE DAY OFF!!!!!!

Now, if we could just get that BLEEPING trailer sold!!!!!

[myaibou.livejournal.com]

UGH. Definitely don't put off time off! If nothing else, it's Mother's Day in a week and a half. Lock yourself in a room somewhere and don't let anyone ask you for ANYTHING.

::hugs::

[not-hathor.livejournal.com]

How I wish it was that easy....

I was SUPPOSED to have my nervous breakdown at the beginning of April.... alas it got pre-empted by the Church Bazaar, a wedding, two funerals, and the birth of Pastor's grandchild #1....

*Runs around gibbering*

[mel0804.livejournal.com]

I was SUPPOSED to have my nervous breakdown at the beginning of April.

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh out loud... ;-).
It sounds so funny even though it is NOT... But really - I know what you mean. I though my completely body would give up at the beginning of January (but then we had to move), than I thought about letting go in February (but then we were still moving) and finally I supposed, the best time to escape from the wolrd would be March - but nope... we had to prepare a business trip to Turkey. Well - I HAD a kind of breaktdown on my birthday in April which was the worst birthday ever but I didn't have much time to recover either - because my son and my husband got ill...

So... What does it say? Important things first... ;-).

[reziac.livejournal.com]

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."
-- Henry Kissinger

.

[boogiebabe-smap.livejournal.com]

{hugs} kiddo. Believe me after the last couple years, I know what it is to be the rock in the turbulence, too. You hold and you hold and you hold because you're convinced that everyone else's needs are important and you HAVE to be strong for them, but you can only do it for so long before something's gotta give. You need to stop before the thing that gives out is your health or your sanity.

You're absolutely right that your husband's injury should not preclude him handling the phone calls and trailer sale; and your daughter is old enough to understand that it's not ALL about her. I know you're not going to want the confrontation that's going to come from them finding out that their emotional slave wants her emancipation, but I think you really need to talk to your daughter and ESPECIALLY your husband about a more equitable distribution of responsibility in the not_hathor household.

Then after you've made your point, retreat to a place where you can relax and recouperate. (I'm inclined toward a long hot bath with nice music, scented candles, a nice drink [in my case non-alcoholic, but your mileage may vary], and a good book.) Just ignore the world for a couple hours. If you can't get that at home, you might want to talk with a local hotel about a mini-retreat. And you can never go wrong with massage therapy.

In the meantime, for a change, be strong for you instead of everyone else. Or if you just want to cry/rant over the phone, just give me a call. (If you don't have my phone #, email me and I'll send it to you.)

[not-hathor.livejournal.com]

*Hugs SMAP back* -- Yeah, I knew you'd understand, Roomie! Although to be fair to the husband, the month after the doctor cleared him to go back to work, the plant went to 10-hour days with the occasional weekend. He HAS been working and bringing home the bacon; and the kid did help considerably with the actual moving. And I certainly didn't help my own cause by downplaying MY injuries -- which is why I've got a Doctor's appointment next week.

I just need to get my THIRD wind, that all....

[boogiebabe-smap.livejournal.com]

I hope that the doctor has good suggestions for reducing your pain. And I'm glad to hear that hubby and offspring HAVE been helping. It's time though to let them know that Mom's fuel tank is hitting E and she needs a little personal time to refuel. Hang in there, there's gotta be a gas station coming up soon. Don't drive past it.

[dragondancer515.livejournal.com]

Seems like half the people on my f-list have unhappy stuff going on lately (Nope, I'm not immune, either!)
Fuck . . . yeah, I see that. *HUGGLES*